People say I am a genius. Very soon you will learn that they are right.
My name is Edolphus Obsidian Bloom. Can you say that? I am about to tell you the ending to this story.
Please don’t, you say? It will ruin it for you?
My dear little man, or woman, you have nothing to fear. Knowing the ending will do no harm. It is my story, I mean to say it is a story about me, but I will not appear in the flesh until the very end. (There, that is all I was going to say.)
Presently, I will introduce you to two children. They will be with you the most; I mean to say you will remain in their company for the majority of our time together. They will listen to this story, (my story) as well. The boy is 10 and his sister is 7…
Are you interested? Would you like me to go on?
If so, I have only one request: that you listen.
I mean really listen. You must pay attention because everything is important, and some of the things you see and hear will reappear later. You say you have read and listened to stories before? Yes, you look the type. Oh, so you understand the importance of listening? Perfect. After all, really paying attention to a story is the only to keep it with you, after it has ended.
Speaking of keeping stories, there is someone else you will meet very soon. The keeping of stories is, in fact, his occupation. (He will explain.) He will be the one telling my story to the children, just as I will be telling it to you.
You will also meet a gypsy, a baker, a maestro, a drunkard, a fat man and his butler, a violin maker and his wife, a greyhound, and a monkey. Oh, and my invention, that is important.
Shall we begin?
Wonderful! I was hoping you wouldn’t walk away, that I wouldn’t have to wave goodbye, mumbling, “God save the Queen.”
Nothing against our Queen, naturally, dear Victoria, God save her. Forgive me. Now, I believe the year was 1840, on a Saturday…and the city of London was shivering…